Caring for Someone Can Go a Long Way

How My Leader at Work Helped Me Heal

Looking back, I’ve had several episodes of troubling behavior, since my formative years until I was already an adult. My most recent episode was only in 2018 — I had another mental break down. I was rushed to the ER, admitted for a couple of days and was advised by my attending physician that I couldn’t go back to work for a while. It took me almost 3 months before I was permitted to return to work again.

However, not long after I got back, I relapsed and was given another month to go on medical leave. At that point, I started feeling hopeless. I wondered if I’ll be able to function as a normal human being again.

I was blessed with very caring leaders. Our Regional Leader then, Jackie Harding, approached me personally to ask what support she could give that can help ease my way back. One of the options she generously gave me was to transfer to a new role in a different team. I immediately chose Talent Operations. Talent Operations was led by my former leader, Jason Romero. Aside from the team being my career preference, Jason has been a trusted confidant ever since I was new to Shell.

Jason has been a witness to my series of episodes back when Mental Health was still a taboo. Not everyone was aware, let alone educated about it. Despite that, despite not fully understanding what my conditions were (and to be honest, I had little understanding of my own conditions then too), he never stopped believing in me and in my capabilities, even when everyone else doubted me.

Being the same person that he was, Jason welcomed me back to his team without hesitation. At the start, I was only allowed to work 4 hours a day, but that didn’t bother him. He regarded me like any other “normal” person and gave me work to do. It was exactly what I needed at the time — to be treated kindly but without discrimination. I was seen for my capability, not for my restrictions.

Jason and I committed to having a transparent relationship. My conditions required understanding, but I knew that it went both ways — I needed to help him help me. Aside from our recurring one-on-one conversations, he always checked on me personally. He just listens; I never felt like I was being held against a deadline to be at my “full capacity.”

The journey was not linear, but Jason willingly adjusted to my pace. As I transitioned from working part-time to full-time, I still had minor set downs, but he trusted me enough to give me flexibility. He made me feel safe to honestly let him know what I needed whenever I needed it — I’m not doing okay now, I need to take a leave OR I feel burnt out, I need to take a step back from some of my tasks. He was there every step of the way, supporting my decisions without a hint of doubt or judgment.

Again, it wasn’t a one-way street. I made sure that I was also doing my part to help myself get better. I was consistent with my personal care, medication, therapy, check-ups, all the work. While I knew Jason would always understand, I wanted to be worthy of his confidence.

In 2020, when Jason and I had our year-end assessment conversation, he asked me what achievement I was most proud of. Instead, I looked back in gratitude for having him as my leader. I can’t believe that that person who once wondered if she’ll ever be able to function again is now a person who was proud to have accomplished one of her greatest achievements thus far in her career. I honestly couldn’t have done it without him.

People are often daunted (understandably so) by supporting someone with a mental condition, but it’s actually quite simple — CARE. Jason cared enough to be kind and understanding, to lean in and ask questions when he couldn’t understand, to trust and believe only the good in me and to give me unconditional support.